For the Love of Perfection

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."

Sat, 01 Oct 2011 03:25:59 -0400

Dickens, in a nutshell, sums up my last few months.

I won’t bore you with the details. I recovered. I relapsed. I recovered. Some great things happened. Some terrible things happened. Things changed. Life goes on.

But the most important change has been in this part of me. In this secret self that I’ve been hoarding. In this sick, twisted, imaginary place in my head where the only things that matter are the size of my thigh gap and whether I ingested twelve too many calories today.

I cannot—will not—keep doing this to myself. I deserve better. Ana, with her false pretty pictures and deceitful voice purring in my ear, will NOT control my life anymore. Finally, I’m going to fight back. Finally, I’m going to win.

But to do that, I can’t keep coming back to this blog. This was my haven of self-loathing and self-destruction, and now, it’s time to move on. I’ve created a new blog. This time, it’s going to be about support, recovery, and learning to love myself again.

If anyone is still out there reading me (and not just because they forgot to unfollow me in my absence), I’d love it if you would come support me at www.agirlwithoutwax.tumblr.com .

I know it’s not going to be easy. But I know it’s going to be worth it.

So, wishing you all the love, light and happiness in the world— and for the last time from this blog;
<3 Adelle

Okay, so Amy Winehouse is dead, and that's sad.

Sat, 23 Jul 2011 15:10:18 -0400

But you know what? Close to 100 people are dead in Norway.

100 people. 100 moms and dads and sisters and brothers and aunts and uncles and neices and nephews and cousins and friends.

And 1 celebrity. I’m not saying that it’s not sad that she died, because it is. She had friends and family who loved her too.

But someone please explain to my why people care more about this ONE DEATH than the lost lives of close to 100 people. Amy Winehouse’s life wasn’t more valuable than any one of theirs, much less all of them.

It’s a really sad commentary on our society and what we value.

I need a texting buddy. Apply within.

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 02:34:18 -0400

I desperately need to get my life back on track. So, once again, I’m turning to my fellow tumblr ladies for help. Application is as follows, if interested please drop it in my ask:

Name?

Age?

Gender?

Country?

Healthy or unhealthy?

CW?

GW?

Are you and your cell phone virtually inseperable?

Unlimited texting?

Adelle has a crying hangover, and needs to get a serious grip on her life again.

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 02:29:49 -0400

First 200 to reblog will be promoted to my 13700+

Tue, 05 Jul 2011 15:35:53 -0400

itsnotaseasyasitlooks:

•no likes! dont miss your chance! HURRRY.
•must be following http://itsnotaseasyasitlooks.tumblr.com/•only first 200, if doesnt reach 200 no promo.
•must reblog and follow to get promo!
Spread the word, go go go. MUST BE FOLLOWING.

http://itsnotaseasyasitlooks.tumblr.com/
http://itsnotaseasyasitlooks.tumblr.com/

~~http://itsnotaseasyasitlooks.tumblr.com/~~
~~http://itsnotaseasyasitlooks.tumblr.com/~~

When I was a kid, I didn't have a laptop, iPod, Blackberry, PS3, Wifi or iPads. I played outside with friends, bruised my knees, made up stories and played hide and seek. I ate what my mom made. I would think twice before I said "no" to my parents. Life wasn't hard, it was good & I survived. Kids these days are spoiled. Re-post this if you appreciate the way you were raised. I think we were happier kids.

Tue, 05 Jul 2011 15:18:33 -0400

back on track, and back around, starting today.

Tue, 05 Jul 2011 11:13:03 -0400

missed my dears and the dropping numbers too much. 220 cal breakfast today and bought a cal counting watch. Good start. :)

love from adelle.

Photo

Mon, 04 Jul 2011 16:41:57 -0400

Photo

Mon, 04 Jul 2011 16:25:26 -0400

I hate that I feel fat in everything that I own.

Sun, 03 Jul 2011 23:29:15 -0400

I am a really unattractive person. =/

Wed, 22 Jun 2011 00:40:12 -0400

I’m presently editing some photos from a wedding I went to, and when I went to dance a few times my camera got jacked, so there are a few of me…

I can’t believe I actually thought I looked okay that day.

I need to stop thinking that just because I’m getting thin, that doesn’t mean I’ll ever, ever be pretty.

so far today,

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 15:04:06 -0400

ate a larabar, then burned it off.

ate ten green beans, burned them off.

good so far.

now I just have to keep this up.

REBLOG AND I WILL PROMO THE FIRST 50 TO MY 3000 FOLLOWERS

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 03:02:05 -0400

fasshion-never-dies:

http://fasshion-never-dies.tumblr.com/

http://fasshion-never-dies.tumblr.com/

http://fasshion-never-dies.tumblr.com/

http://fasshion-never-dies.tumblr.com/

http://fasshion-never-dies.tumblr.com/

definitely had pudding for breakfast.

Sun, 19 Jun 2011 08:13:46 -0400

so I got to have chocolate AND stayed in my 200 cal/meal limit.

this is what I like to call a win.

reblog if your thinspo tumblr is a secret that your friends & family don't know about.

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 12:14:11 -0400

dailydoseofthinspiration:

ignitesyourbones:

strength in numbers. i want to follow all of you. <3

Ohay B]

I am a fat failure.

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 18:11:39 -0400

Reblog if you're a weightloss blog and you're 5'3".. I want to follow you!!

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 16:55:21 -0400

Photo

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 16:44:30 -0400

fuckbodyhate: stophatingyourbody: All bodies are good...

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 16:42:28 -0400

fuckbodyhate:

stophatingyourbody:

All bodies are good bodies.

There are no bad bodies. The concept of “bad bodies” is a conspiracy.

on average, women see over 400 advertisements a day with glamorized images of what they should look like.

and you know what all those images have in common?

they are selling something.

makeup, a gym membership, clothes, hair products, restaurants, diet plans, razors, plastic surgery, etc.

There is a reason this ideal exists. It’s to make money.There is a reason that thin has been so culturally accepted as the way to have a “good” body. There is a reason that the beauty ideal - thin frame, even round breasts, long legs, smooth skin, long sleek hair, perfect complexion, made up, and wearing a certain style of clothing. That exists for a reason.

The reason, is that if corporations can manage to convince women that they aren’t beautiful the way they are, they can convince them that they need certain things to make them beautiful.

Like diet pills and diet food and a gym membership and makeup and cover up and nail polish and spanx and fancy clothes and more and more and more.

It is a conspiracy to make money.

And it’s one of the most successful conspiracies in the world.

And you know what else those ads all have in common? They show those women as being happy, and successful. Having friends, going to parties, having men desiring them, being confident, and smooth, and popular. This had led to an abundance of women who deeply believe, consciously or not, that the only way to achieve happiness, is to achieve a certain aesthetic.

and it’s not just the media. because this has been so widely spread, and accepted, you hear it everywhere. from your peers, your parents, your teachers, even strangers.

IT’S. NOT. TRUE.

Bodies have become such a taboo, and such a subject of shame for most women, that girls don’t grow up seeing real women’s bodies. Not represented by the media, and not even represented by the women in their lives. I think it’s pretty rare for a girl to grow up seeing all different shapes and sizes of women being represented proudly, and not in the context of “look how disgusting this part of me is.”

So who do they look to, to try to understand what women should look like?

Magazines, tv commercials, etc etc.

So they think that’s what all people should look like. So of COURSE they feel like something is wrong with them. Of course they do.

But there isn’t. There is nothing wrong with you.

The part of your body that you think is just *wrong*, and *deformed*, and *hideous.* Why? Your body is built exactly the way it’s meant to be. It’s your body. And anybody who tries to tell you there is something inherently bad about it is brainwashed.

There are no bad bodies. There are only bodies that are well taken care of, and bodies that are not. If you eat food that makes you feel good, and do things that make your body feel good, then your body will find the weight, the size, and the shape that is best for it.

That might be 90 pounds. 120 pounds. 180 pounds. 250 pounds. More or less. Anything.

So maybe, next time you’re sitting there just thinking about how fat, and ugly, and wrong you are, take a second to ask yourself,

why do I think that?

The reason is, because you have been programmed to think that. You have grown up in a toxic environment, where that concept, the concept of good and bad bodies, is everywhere. And just knowing that won’t make those thoughts go away, but maybe, it will give you more perspective. Maybe then you can step back, and say,

“okay. this isn’t real. this is actually complete and utter fucking bullshit.”

Your body is a good body.

Your body is the perfect body.

Join our support community! Recoverandfly.tumblr.com

BE BRAVE! JOIN THE REVOLUTION!

everyone, READ THIS.

I want to follow ADULTS! Reblog if you're 18+ & a weight loss blog.

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 21:27:00 -0400