Dickens, in a nutshell, sums up my last few months.
I won’t bore you with the details. I recovered. I relapsed. I recovered. Some great things happened. Some terrible things happened. Things changed. Life goes on.
But the most important change has been in this part of me. In this secret self that I’ve been hoarding. In this sick, twisted, imaginary place in my head where the only things that matter are the size of my thigh gap and whether I ingested twelve too many calories today.
I cannot—will not—keep doing this to myself. I deserve better. Ana, with her false pretty pictures and deceitful voice purring in my ear, will NOT control my life anymore. Finally, I’m going to fight back. Finally, I’m going to win.
But to do that, I can’t keep coming back to this blog. This was my haven of self-loathing and self-destruction, and now, it’s time to move on. I’ve created a new blog. This time, it’s going to be about support, recovery, and learning to love myself again.
If anyone is still out there reading me (and not just because they forgot to unfollow me in my absence), I’d love it if you would come support me at www.agirlwithoutwax.tumblr.com .
I know it’s not going to be easy. But I know it’s going to be worth it.
So, wishing you all the love, light and happiness in the world— and for the last time from this blog;